Today I planned to run an easy four miles. I ended up doing only 2.5 and walking the rest of the way home. It was a horrible, slow, slog of a run and I was just D.O.N.E. at the 2.5 mile point. Could I have pushed myself and finished? Probably. Did I have it in me mentally to get it done? Nope.
Possible causes for it sucking:
- It’s 70 degrees and sunny out there, for the first time this spring.
- Even though my stomach bug was only 24 hours and not particularly bad, I didn’t eat or drink much for a day.
- My legs are still wrecked from the hills.
I wonder, though, if these are valid reasons and it was smart to listen to my body or if I’m just making excuses for wussing out? I don’t really know.
I have 20 miles on tap for tomorrow with an expected high of 90. I am not a warm weather runner by any stretch of the imagination. I’d postpone the run, but what if the marathon is hot? The race director won’t be postponing the race just because I don’t run well in the heat.
I’m struggling mentally with this race. It’s normal for me to freak out the day before and morning of a race. I’m always convinced I can’t do it, even if “it” is only a 10k. But I have nearly 6 weeks to go and a fair amount of training left and I’m already questioning why I’m doing this. I had hoped that taking it easy for a week would help me get mentally back in the game. While it did allow me to have some really enjoyable runs, it didn’t really get me excited about really long runs. Maybe my original decision that marathons are not a good distance for me was right.