I’ve spent much of my time as a parent learning when to say no. I am horrible about thinking I can accomplish everything and tend to say yes to whatever work/volunteer/kid thing that is thrown my way. Need someone to help you with a book drive? Sure. Need someone to be the Secretary of the PTA? Sign me up. Need a parent to help out with something for Cub Scouts? I’m your girl. Or at least that’s how it used to be. But, over the last year, I’ve learned to set limits. I’ve learned to evaluate what I have going on and what is being asked of me and decide what I’m capable of. I’ve also gotten better about assigning values to things. If it’s something dear to my heart or important to my kids, I’ll figure out a way, but if it’s not, I’m going to say no.
But lately, I’ve been forcing myself to say yes more. Not to more time commitments, but to new experiences. I’ve been stepping outside my comfort zone. And let me tell you, it has not been easy. I’ve gone to new yoga classes. I’ve signed up (through living social) for a core barre class. I bid on (and won) some spinning classes at Revolve. But it’s not just in the exercise arena that I need to step out of my comfort zone.
So, here are some “yeses” I have coming up that have my stomach tied in knots:
- Cub Scout camp – 7 days with no showers, no internet, and a plethora of 4th grade boys
- Touring NYC with the kids BY MYSELF – Beer Geek has a work trip there, so the boys and I are going to go up with him. I plan to take them to the Statue of Liberty and some other NYC stuff and then take the train back with them BY MYSELF. I’m practically hyperventilating just thinking about it.
- My boss wants me to present about using social media at a conference. Yeah, that scares me.
Ok, I admit I’m not doing things like jumping out of a plane, but I’m a firm believer that the more frequently you step outside of your comfort zone and survive, the more new things you’ll be willing to try.
Do you step out of your comfort zone often? Got any tips for me about visiting New York City with kids? Or are you the queen of using social media? Quite frankly, I can use all the help I can get!
YES! Get out there and and get uncomfortable! I’ve called this year the year of ‘no limits’ for me — of saying ‘yes’ more than ‘no,’ of pushing outside of boundaries, and of getting uncomfortable in all areas of life. SO important for personal growth! I love that you’re saying YES more!!
Buy yourself one of those fold NYC street maps. NYC is like DC. It makes sense with numbers etc. It also feels very safe to me when I am there. I LOVE IT! I would be nervous too as the only adult there but you can do it. The subways are good. Just use common sense and using them in the daylight hours etc.
Good luck and have fun.
You would have appreciated this particular spectator sign at the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler this last weekend:
Life begins just outside your comfort zone.
I think I’d rather jump out of a plane than present anything at a conference. That’s made you feel more relaxed about the whole experience hasn’t it?
I’m sure you’ll do great at all three. No showers for a week? Eau de Naturale. Just think how great you’ll feel when you finally do get to shower. And your boys are at a great age for travelling with now – they’re big enough to help but still young enough not to be jaded and moody about having to spend time with a parent. Can’t think of anything positive to say about the conference though except you’ll really feel like you’ve achieved something.
I grew up in NYC. I bet your boys will love it. Statue of Liberty is very cool. The Intrepid is cool too (far west side in midtown), if they like battleships and airplanes. The Natural History Museum and Planetarium are excellent as well (80th and Central Park West).
As far as travel tips, don’t fear the subway and the bus. Both can be confusing, but are easily the best way to get around town. Usually to go north and south, the subway is fastest. When you exit the station, pay attention to the signs that tell you which corner you are going up (southeast, northeast, etc) so you keep your bearings when you get up to the street. However, if you have to go across town anywhere north of about 50th, the bus is the way to go – 72nd, 79th, 86th or 96th. Your hotel probably has someone who can help you plan your days.
I did number two last year for spring break. You can do it.
I have not done anything to get out of my comfort zone lately but you are inspiring to do just that. I am moving my family across the country this June, but we are military so kind of used to it..it is still stressful though. The cub scout camp sound really fun.. our best vacations are when there is no phone or internet. Looking forward to hearing about all of you adventures.
omg so much exciting stuff coming up!!! you’re going to rock it all
IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!
and I have done a bunch of social media presentations.
email me if you want 🙂
Crap, all of those would make me very nervous as well! Especially the NYC one. The thing is, people raise their children there so just make sure they aren’t jumping off any curbs and you should be good 😉
Cub Scout camp for 7 days with 4th grade boys??!! Oh my. I have a 4th grader and can only imagine! Lol. Good luck!
Do you have an iphone? There is an amazing app for the NYC trains that we used when we were there in November for the marathon. You’ll have a blast!
such a great post, erika. i can absolutely 110% relate to what you are saying. for so long i was always saying yes to things, over committing and spreading myself too thin. so then i really had to remind myself to say no – to hold back and think carefully before i volunteered for stuff. i was not good at all at making time for myself or making myself a priority. running really helped with that on so many levels. it helps me find balance. helps me think more clearly. helps me have a healthier perspective. helps me feel more brave – so i can step outside my comfort zone, take some risks and grow as a person. the entire past 2 years of my life have really been all about that. it has been full of terrifying moments, followed by a greater sense of peace and more joyfulness than i ever would have imagined. going to boyscout camp, taking your sons to NYC – wow that is brave and would scare me too! but i just know you are going to make memories that will last a lifetime, you will enrich your own life as well as that of your children (adventure with mom – how cool is that!?) and you will most certainly not regret it. and the presentation – eeek. i was in sales for a long time and it took me a while to get comfortable with speaking to groups of people. in the end though – when you are talking about something you KNOW and you are passionate about – it comes through and is kind of thrilling because you overcame that fear. You are going to do great with all of these things!! Keep doing stuff that scares you – it is so good for us!!
Way to step out of your comfort zone! Traveling with my kids by myself is a bit scary. Never to New York, but flew with them to California a couple of times without the husband. I also took them on the train in Europe by myself. It always makes me feel so grown up and responsible:) I should probably feel that way already since my kids are 12 and 10:) Have fun in your new adventures!
I think that you pretty much said it when you said that every time you get out of your comfort zone you get better and stronger and more confident. I think NYC is not going to be as hard as you are anticipating. And once you go and see that, you will be raring to go to every city alone with the kids! 🙂 The subway really is pretty easy to navigate and part of the adventure is the not knowing!
I don’t know if you have an iPhone (or smartphone) but if you use Google Maps, it will tell you how to get from A to B on the public transit. Easy!