Yesterday I managed to go out for a “run”. It was one of the few times when I felt like I was a jogger, not a runner. What’s the difference? It’s not speed. You can be a slow runner. It totally had to do with form and energy. I barely lifted my feet off the ground and my arms didn’t really participate in the run at all. I was glad I did it, but it wasn’t a real run for me and it did not have any of the benefits that I usually expect from a run. I didn’t feel energized from it, in fact, it just wore me out.
I realized last night how desperately in need of a real run I was. It had been a week since I last ran. A week of fighting the flu, not getting enough sleep, and generally just feeling crappy. When we went out to dinner, I’m not sure I said a single conversational to the boys or to Beer Geek. In fact, I think I said nothing except to correct the boys’ behavior. I could feel the “grey” hovering just outside my thoughts. It hit me – I needed a run and I needed one soon or I was going to continue the downward slide into depression. *
Thankfully, today was absolutely beautiful. Run in shorts and a t-shirt beautiful. I got in a very nice 4 miler (9:23, 9:47, 9:44, 9:09) before lunch. I’ve got a ways to go physically (I was pretty wiped out at the end of the run) and I’m not quite back in the game mentally (my temper is still pretty short), but I feel so much better. It’s amazing what a difference 40 minutes of endorphins make!
*When I suffered from postpartum depression, every day seemed like a grey day. In my mind, Jones’ first months were made up of grey, stay inside days. In pictures, it was a beautiful, sunny fall. When I start to slide into that mindset, I stop wanting to run. The more I need to run, the less I want to. Yesterday’s run was definitely a forced run and did not make me want to run more. I really needed a day like to day to remind me that I love running and to start pulling me back up to normal for me.
oh yes, i can feel it when i have not exercised, i start getting cranky. i too had ppd and the only time i felt better was after exercising.
I'm the same way when I've gone a long time without a run, and I too have to force myself to return to it. Glad you had such a nice day today to get a solid 4 miler in!
"The more I need to run, the less I want to"BOY do I know that feeling!! I'm glad you were able to get out there and get in a good RUN!
yeah. I hear ya. Berry Baby's first half-year is a complete blur to me and a struggle even after I was put on the AD. And I didn't run barely at all until he was about 8 or 9 months old. It sure made a difference though once I started getting some actual sleep and got back into some regular running. Glad you could recognize the problem quickly. Really glad you had a good run!
definitely tough to get back into a groove… glad you had some nice temps to encourage you out the door! 🙂
I get the same way about need/want of running. glad you were able to get out there on a nice fall weekend!
Some damn flu kept us indoors all of last week too, and it SUCKED. I got progressively irritable as each day marched on through.So glad you were able to get out there and just RUN!
What a wonderful thing to recognize that getting out for a nice run in the fresh air can help push that "gray" away. Glad you're feeling better!
Any run is better than no run–glad you made it out in the beautiful weather!
Glad you got in a good run today. I tend to have trouble when the seasons change. I don't know what it is but there is something about it that makes me feel down. It can be winter into spring and I feel off, even though I get all excited by the promise of better weather. I think our body rhythms can get upset and it can just throw us off mentally. Anyway, glad your run was better and I hope you keep feeling better.
I'm glad you got that good run day in to chase away the gray. I admire you for getting out there! I'm sure your body will catch up soon as it continues to get better from that icky flu.