I’m not a “keeping up with the Joneses” kind of girl. Anyone who knows me IRL knows that. I tend to zig when others zag. Beer Geek is even more like that.
We live in a small house because we chose location over size. And, while a master bath or a stove that’s not older than me might be nice, I don’t really need much more than what we have (thankfully beer is a relatively cheap luxury item). I have a masters degree and had a very successful career before kids. I could easily get back into that, but have found that my “drive” to succeed in that way is gone. Now I want to do something that I enjoy, on my own schedule, the way I want to do it. When I ponder winning the lottery (which I never will since I’d never actually enter the lottery LOL), the only big exciting thing I want is to travel more. The rest of my thoughts go to things like paying off the mortgage, saving for the kids for college, etc. (ok, upgrading my kitchen does come to mind).
I’m the same way when it comes to parenting. I’m a big believer in doing what works for your family. I’ve done some out of the mainstream things – home birth, extended nursing, co-sleeping, to name a few. I’ll share my opinions if asked, but I’m not going to be telling you what you should do. If something works for your family and everyone is happy, healthy, and safe, who am I to judge?
I used to be that way when it came to running. I started running for my mental and physical health. I didn’t care about how fast I was or how far I went. I just cared that I could be a good mom and my jeans fit.
Lately, I’ve found myself reading blogs and thinking “wow, she ran fast, I need to do more speedwork”. Or “hey, she can run x miles per week, why am I not putting in that kind of mileage?” Or “I should be training for a marathon”.
Never mind that a)I will never be a fast girl, b) I’ve never enjoyed the miles after about mile 15, and c) I hate running in hot weather. I just feel like I need to be doing more and doing it faster because “everyone else” is.
I think that the biggest problem right now is that I have no running goals. I have a lot going on outside of running, so I had decided to let running take a bit of a back seat. That’s not working for me. Apparently I need a plan and something to work towards (or at least something to rebel against occasionally LOL). So, I think it’s time to go back to the drawing board and figure out where *I* want to go right now. And to step away from the lure of the marathon. Because, while there will be a time to go for that sub 4:30 goal, that time is not now.
I do the same thing. I read other blogs and constantly compare my times. I want to be faster, PR in a marathon, etc. But then I remember I too don't really care for running more than 15 miles or the mental and physical discomfort associated with speedwork. Now is definitely not the time. I have bigger fish to fry at the moment and spreading myself thin to accomplish it all will only end in tears, frustration and a lot of regret.
The one problem of the running blogosphere is it tends, through no fault of its own, to lure us away from who we are and what we want to be and what we can be.
I agree – the blogworld can be awesome for inspiration, but can also make you feel like you're not doing enough or not pushing hard enough. It's a tricky balance, I think – I'm excited to hear what you decide YOU want to be working toward right now.
Well stated… I agree with Xenia and Abby in that reading other running blogs is a double-edged sword. On one hand, they can be very motivational, and on the other, make me feel like I'm "not as good." I tend to not post times on my blog, as times are a very personal thing to each person. One person's fast is another person's slow. I don't want to get hung up on that aspect. I'll celebrate my own PRs, and complain about my own PWs, but won't share those numbers with the blogosphere 🙂
I'm really relating to this. I'm definitely not a fast runner….and I'm so aware of it when I read about "slow" 9 minute miles. That's fast to me! And then I wonder what I need to do to be faster than I am and it takes the fun out of running for me.Like you I don't have any real running goals right now. I'm just trying to enjoy running.
I get this – the comparison game. I also know that that same game helps me push myself sometimes, when I can't find the motivation within myself.
I definitely play the comparison game and think I should be doing that too. It's difficult to take a step back and do what's right for you! Good luck figuring out your next running goal!
I'm a big believer in doing what works for you. Working toward your own goals not the goals of others. So I agree, step back and figure out what you want to do, then make it happen!
You are a smart woman! I need to be working towards something at all times. It keeps me motivated. It can just be hard to figure out what the right thing is …
for me the training is more the rush and the sense of accomplishment than the actual event. i feel like i have to be training for something all the time…whether its a marathon or for Spring racing…i like structure and having a schedule to follow or else i feel lost.here's to sub 4:30's!!! my elusive sub 4:30 awaits me in Chicago i hope!
I enjoy running so much more when it's for a purpose. Sure, I still love those relaxed and care-free runs, but I just don't seem to have the motivation to go out there every day "just because." Hope you can figure out something that works for YOU right NOW.
I certainly understand what you are saying. It definitely can be a double edged sword…great for inspiration but potentially bad if you get caught up in others. Luckily, I haven't gotten too caught up yet. I think if I do, running isn't going to be fun anymore and that's when I'll know to put myself back in check and do it for myself.
oh my gosh we are the same in sooo many ways…sometimes I think I dislike things just because too many people do like it..what is that about?! I will always give my opinion when asked… but yes with running I have this slightly competitve side that starts to emerge and I want to do better when I read everyone's accomplishments rather than just enjoying my runs
Everyone compares themselves to others–it's hard not to. But you sound like you know yourself really well, which is key, because then you can id what you need from running and go get it!
I think there are certain factors involved with people running "fast". There's always someone ahead of you and they may be getting there by running 100 miles a week, doing speed work 2X week, staying away from beer, eating exactly right, being biomechanically perfect, and numerous other things. I think the main thing is enjoying what you are doing. You may be able to run faster if you give up certain things, but is it worth it? Plus, running 26.2 miles, at any speed is no easy task. PS, Some of the Jone's are nice, but some are just a$$es…
I am all about needing to set goals for myself with running. I get caught up in wanting to be like the fast people too—but also, know that I will never be one of them. Sometimes taking a step back and figuring out what we really want for us as opposed to for everyone else is huge. Bravo!
So well put!You are so right that it is easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing and then measure your own success and failures against them. But a true runner can see that what works for one doesn't mean it will for you. I think it comes with being a more mature runner – one who has walked the walk and know where they want to go.I find that just having something in front of me, i.e. a race, is all I need to keep one foot in front of the other. Good luck in finding what you need 😉 Halves are fun to train for!
Great post! I always need a goal to work toward, if I don't I feel a bit aimless. I have played that comparison game as well, good luck figuring out what is going to work for you right now.
Great post! I always need a goal to work toward, if I don't I feel a bit aimless. I have played that comparison game as well, good luck figuring out what is going to work for you right now.
i very often fall into the same pattern: looking at the distances/times of others to determine if i'm happy with what i'm doing. this is a great reminder that each individual choice that i make/run that i do/race that i run is for me and not to keep up with others. thanks for reminding me to stay true to me!
Your post is well written, and it seems that everyone else has commented with what I would say (although more eloquently). All of the urges to run further, faster, stronger are only natural and it's hard not to get caught up in it. I suspect you'll find yourself falling into a place of contentment with your running in time (happiness in work/parenting/life likely didn't happen quickly either). Hopefully it comes soon!
Though I find running blogs very inspiring, it also plants that seed in my head that I need to get faster.I don't know how to stop from doing that, because even if blogs don't spark that competitive streak in me, the local runners around here certainly will.
Mcm Mama – sounds so similar to me right down to the beer…I just signed up for another 1/2 with a even 2:00 finish. Is shaving 19 minutes off my time a lofty goal, hell ya, if I get it I get it, if not Que Sera Sera!
I think you read my mind and posted this for me. The going against the grain comes naturally. The birthing at home, nursing, the way our family works, it all sounds like us.I am way too competitive when reading the blogs and then wonder why I am doing what I am doing.Its nice to see that you know yourself 🙂
This is a good post. It is easy to get caught up in what everyone is doing rather than what is best for us.
It's easy to get caught up in what others are doing, in any area of life, and I think we all have felt exactly as you describe. But you're smart to carve out your own running goals just as you have carved out your own personal preferences; it will make you a happier, healthier runner!
Yup, been there. Many times. I wrote about my feelings here, if you're interested:http://thehappyrunner.blogspot.com/2009/12/stop-judging-yourself.htmlStay true, Mama!
I think remembering why you enjoy running in the first place and choosing goals that remind you of that is the best way to keep moving. But I too can get easily caught up in comparing myself to others.
I was just thinking the SAME thing tonight! I was rereading my little post about swimming 30 minutes and realized that to most "real" triathletes, 30 minutes of swimming is a very, very puny amount! or then I read about 60 mile bike rides and again my "long" distance of 23 miles shrinks in comparison. Oh well, I do what I can. My family comes first and training is second (although, if I don't get my training in, my family feels it, lol!) Do what is right for YOU! However, i agree having a goal really helps. take care!
I understand where you are coming from. We're human, so it's hard not to compare oneself. One of the reasons I started blogging was to add another voice to the passionate runner- one who may be a little older and a little slower, but love the sport nonetheless. Sounds like you have a smart plan to make your own plan!
Great post! You'll make a plan that works for you soon enough. Keep cool!
I remember reading your blog when you were doing back to back 10 mile runs and wondering how to fit that in my schedule as well. We all do it. Never feel bad about easing back on running because then you find how exciting it is once you start back…and you get to tell everyone you're resting your body for the next challenge!
Great post! I'm definitely a "do my own thing" kind of girl…I also did lots of the less conventional things you mention regarding my kids. I tend to be like that in general. It's so easy to get pulled into the whole comparison thing when blogging…but, success is easier if you're doing what it is you want to do and not what you think you should be doing.