When I became a stay at home mom, I went from a crazy job to a crazy life at home. Jones and I had plans nearly every day plus I volunteered with a large local moms group as the treasurer plus I crammed in running wherever I could. Then Shoo came along and we added new stuff and I was juggling two kids and marathon training. Then Jones went to elementary school, but I still had Shoo mostly at home plus volunteering plus a very part time job. I seriously felt I was running non-stop.
And now both boys are in school. And I’ve stopped being a “chief” volunteer and now just volunteer in bits and pieces. And I’m still just working very part-time. And I’m not marathon training.
Guess what? If I’m not pressed for time, I’m incredibly inefficient. When I don’t have to cram in a run, apparently I’m less likely to run. When I have plenty of time to get things done, I’m less likely to get it done.
I’m struggling with this. It began last spring, but I set it aside for the summer as the boys were home with me. But a month and a half into school and I’m back in the same place, searching for a goal and wondering what to do with my career and my life and trying to figure out how to get back to the goal oriented person I used to be.
I knew that staying at home would be a financial challenge and would sideline my career, but I was ok with that. I had a purpose and I felt good about it.
Now that they are in school all day, I’m feeling lost. And I’m not sure what to do about it.
I guess this is my version of the mid-life crisis??? Hmm, maybe I should have bought a convertible instead of my sensible Corolla LOL.