Most of my life I’ve felt like I’ve been working towards a specific goal. There was always something. First, there was the goal of graduating near the top of my class and getting into a good college. Then there was the goal of getting through college and finding a job. Then getting into a top graduate school for my masters. Then I hit the work force.
I was only in the full-time work force post graduate degree for about 6 years. But, man, I pushed hard those six years. My salary and level of responsibility increased quickly and I was well on my way to the career goals I set.
Life has a way of pulling the rug out from under you though. My goals changed and my focus changed and eventually I found myself as a stay at home mom to two little boys. I love my boys and I loved not working, but it was pretty hard to set career goals when you are at home changing diapers.
So I started setting personal goals.
I wanted to run a marathon. And I did it. And then I ran another. Each of those took time and dedication and focus on a big goal.
Right now, I’m without a “big goal”. And it feels kind of weird. And kind of good at the same time.
My life is good right now. I have a job I love, that works with my lifestyle. But I don’t have any real career plans at this point. My running is going really well again, but I’m not searching for a big event. I’m just enjoying where I am, running long when I feel like it, running fast when it happens. My kids are their usual selves. My only goal there is to try to enjoy the rest of spring break with them, despite their love of fighting with each other.
So, I’m just sorting of floating along, unfocused and without direction. Surprisingly, I’m ok with that. At this moment in time, just being in the moment is working for me. At some point, I’m sure I’ll get bitten by a bug again and be uberfocused on reaching a goal (sub-4:30 marathon is still out there.)
But for now, you’ll find me floating along. Savoring the moments as they come. And enjoying every.single.moment. (Except maybe those where one boy punches the other.)