I live in a rather, umm, competitive area. I’m surrounded by driven personalities. Our once quaint little neighborhood filled with Sears bungalows and small brick colonials is changing over to HUGE houses. Additions are so big you can barely find the old house. Infill houses have five or more bedrooms and often as many baths. I’ll admit that sometimes I get a little house envy. (Or honestly mostly master bath envy because we don’t have one of those.)
And then I step back and remind myself that we’ve made choices based on OUR values and OUR priorities. I’m not saying that our choices are better than anyone else’s, just that they are what are important to us. And all choices have consequences, often both negative and positive. Example: I work part-time on a very flexible schedule. Positive consequence? Plenty of time to run. Negative consequence? Did I mention the lack of master bathroom? When I sit down and think of the positive and negatives of the choices we’ve made, I always come to the conclusion that we’ve made the right choices for us. I just have to remind myself of that.
I’m having the same issues with running.
I keep looking at my mileage and thinking “Wow, look at how many miles I’m running.” Then I look at some other blogs and think, “Gosh, I should run more.” “I should do more speedwork.” “I should run 2013 miles in 2013.” “I need to set loftier goals”. Suddenly, I’m not thinking about what my values are or my goals with running, but rather trying to keep up with the “Joneses”.
So, today, I’m reminding myself of why *I* run and what *my* goals are.
- To keep depression at bay, especially in the winter when it’s gray and in the summer when I hate how hot it is.
- To stay fit and healthy and live not just a long life, but a life where I’m active right up until the end.
- To challenge myself, but only up to the point where I’m still enjoying myself.
- To have something that is just for me, when I spend most of my time giving to others in our family.
- And if I’m truly being honest, to allow me to eat the occasional treat and drink a couple of beers every weekend and still be the same size I was before I had kids.
You’ll notice that none of these goals talk about races or PRs or mileage. That’s because when it really comes down to it, those aren’t what’s important to me. And I need to remember that as I walk the fine line of training for the 5 halves versus adding mileage just to hit arbitrary marks.
I do still want that master bathroom someday though.
Do you have to sit down and remind yourself of your values and why you make the choices to do what you do?
I agree with all of your points but I LOVE #3. I think the day running (or any of the work-outs I enjoy) feel like work or something I dread will be the day I hang it up (at least for awhile). The enjoyment really is the key!!!
As much as I love reading other blogs – I have noticed that it is easy to get sucked into thinking I should do more, run more….. Great reminder of why we do what we do!!!
I understand this so well! The whole reason I started blogging is because I felt like I couldn’t keep up with the Jones’. At all. And it made me feel weaker and smaller than I was already feeling. Sometimes we just have to take a step back and re-evaluate. Once I did that, I was able to start blogging again. It forced me to remember that at the end of the day, I blog for me. Run for me. Live for me.
Sounds like you are on a good track!
Hey there! So glad you stopped by to visit! And I’m totally with you! I do that comparing game sometimes with the blog, running, our house, etc… But I have to be content with our choices too…I’m pt at work also so we sacrifice things for our family.. Oh and your reasons for running are the same as mine…it’s so therapeutic!
Great post! It’s so easy to compare our lives, running, everything to everyone else when really what matters is how we feel about it.
You should be inspired by others, not driven by them. Good for you for keeping it real – for you.
I do the same thing. I compare my mileage, other fitness activities and number of races with other people sometimes and feel guilty. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m doing as much as my body allows and I’m doing a hell of a lot more than most of the population.
I’m guilty. I want to get faster and I read a lot of blogs of women that run super fast. It does help motivate me but it also makes me wonder why I can’t run that fast! So silly I know. I sometimes just remind myself that I’m happy running and I’m happy at my own pace.
I really loved reading this post, thanks! I am very similar and do sit/step back sometimes to look at my values and choices. Then I see that they are good and I am happy. I think at our age we are wise enough to know what is the right way forward.
Funny, I was just thinking of my goals compared to others yesterday. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s great to have goals but it’s even better to realize that they can change. At any given moment. And that’s o.k. One person’s goals should not be my own just to prove that I can “keep up”. We all have different starting points. It’s just important that we move forward.
This is a terrific post. I quite my full time job last June to be a better parent/wife/me! I am stuck in -40C weather while friends are some where tropical. While I am envious I know that the weather will pass and I will still be at home taking care of what is important!